


sift out all of the dust

by greenteaduck



Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-21
Updated: 2013-01-21
Packaged: 2017-11-26 07:31:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/648115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenteaduck/pseuds/greenteaduck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris has been having some career issues and Zach wants Chris to feel good about himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sift out all of the dust

**Author's Note:**

> Beta’d by enemyanemone and ranka_lee.  
> ___  
> The first fic I wrote. Originally written in 2009 and posted at my lj.

Chris loosened the tie around his neck as he rushed down the hall. The murmurs and even a few boos could still be heard coming from the theatre. An intense feeling of embarrassment and hurt welled up inside and he felt his cheeks burning red like a teenaged boy’s might. He had known that doing such an off the wall play would meet some criticism but this was insane!

The sound of quick footsteps behind him only made him speed up. “Chris!” a deep voice, made high pitched with urgency called out.

Chris didn’t have to turn around to know who it was and the sound that those ridiculous running shoes made only confirmed his thoughts. He cursed at the way Zach’s voice sounded so worried.

“Chris!” Zach called out again as Chris made to slam the door to his dressing room at the end of the hallway. “Chris, don’t—” Zach squeezed his limber body through the crack in the doorway before closing it behind himself.

“Shut up, Zach!” Chris spun around and looked at Zach with angry eyes. Zach returned the angry look with his own caring and patient one. Chris turned his gaze to the ground for a second to cool himself, closing his eyes tight, and then peered back up, avoiding Zach’s concerned look. It really had been Chris’ own damn fault for choosing to participate in this damn play. “Did Zoe and Karl leave?” he asked, a little hopeful.

Zach shook his head. “Last I saw Karl was trying to hold back Zoe from going bat-shit-crazy on some lady who was complaining about the play. Karl was losing the battle. Badly.”

Chris would have normally laughed or shown some form of affection for his friends but he just nodded. It was a stupid choice to do this play. “You can go and take them home.”

“I don’t want to leave you—“

“Go home, Zach!”

“No...!” Zach was surprised by how ferocious Chris was. It was obvious Chris was embarrassed by what had just transpired but Zach had never seen him look so angry.

Chris’ nostrils were flared and his blue eyes were piercing but Zach held his ground. “I’ll find a way home,” Chris said, suddenly eerily calm. Fuck, why did he do some crazy ass play and not another damn chick flick? “You go.”

“No.”

“Fuck it, Zach!” Chris snarled and moved to shove Zach out of the room. Zach was stronger though and grabbed him by his shoulders and pushed him against the opposite wall. “Chris,” he said, mustering as much love and compassion and sympathy into that one word. Chris looked into Zach’s eyes and then somehow managed to fight him off, limbs flailing madly. He didn’t want Zach’s love right now, he didn’t deserve so much.

“Just... go home,” Chris looked a little less driven by anger and just hurt. “I just... I just want some time, Zachary.”

“Chris,” Zach began but then stopped himself. “Hey...” he tried again.

There was a long moment of silence before Zach nodded, reluctant, and turned to leave the room. Frustrated though, he turned around last second and moved to kiss Chris’ cheek. Chris turned his head quickly though and Zach got the hair behind his ears. “I love you, buddy...”

Chris snorted and turned to sit at the chair in front of the makeup mirror.

Zach left.

***

The following week, Chris had tried out for the part in a number of films but was rejected—no call backs, just a “Don’t call us. We’ll call you.” He was always either “too pretty for the role” or just too out of it in auditions.

Fuck!

It was insane even to him that he was getting so worked up over this. He’d been turned down for roles multiple times before because of his big blue eyes but he didn’t have much work lined up at the moment. And, to be honest, he was tired of living off what Zach made from  _Heroes_  or whatever project-of-the-month he was working on. He knew deep down he really shouldn’t be pissed at Zach—so he instead focused all the blame on himself.

To make up for his less than great week, Chris decided to get a coffee as a treat even though it was late and rainy. But of course it was closed. And, yeah, he really should have paid attention to the closing time but he was pissed. It didn’t help that a pack of paparazzi decided to maul him on his way home at that exact moment questioning him on  _everything_. It was only when they kept asking about why Chris was always staying at Zach’s did he get mad.

The paparazzi had been having a fun time following him and Zach around once they realised Chris was sneaking into Zach’s house through the back. Sometimes staying overnight or even for days at a time.

Chris was just about home free as he went to jay walk to his car. But then one of those damn paparazzi tripped him. Accidentally, of course, but that didn’t stop the flashing white lights of camera flashes or his white t-shirt from getting soaked and dirtied.

He felt broken as he picked himself up off the sidewalk. The burning feeling of a scraped elbow just about made him want to stay there until everything just went away.

***

When he finally did manage to arrive home, he sulked in the doorway for a moment before he removed his shoes. Pressing the heel of his hand to his right eye, Chris gritted his teeth. “Fuuuuuck,” he groaned and felt himself crawl even deeper into that dark pit of self loathing that had been slowly building throughout the week. With a frustrated sigh and a tiny sniffle, he took his hand away from his face and drifted to the living room.

He turned the corner and immediately saw Zach in the large arm chair, reading a thick leather bound book. Chris felt such love for this man and his sadness melted away for at least five blissful seconds. Zach’s glasses seemed massive on his face and yet his eyebrows still could be seen above them. He’d been letting himself get scruffy and there was a short beard that had started to form. He was gorgeous in whatever look he decided to put on though and Chris was always happy when he received compliments from him. Zach was the only person in the world (besides his Mom) who was allowed to call him “cute” or “pretty”.

Chris wished he could be like Zach sometimes-- so in control of his emotions and never lashing out, although he was known to get snarky. Chris however was prone to letting his emotions get the best of him. Zach sometimes got depressed but he dealt with it differently. He would get out of the house and do something whereas Chris would hole up on the couch and watch some lame movie he got from Netflix.

Seeing Zach sitting there, the perfect collection of coolness made Chris only hate himself more.

_I don’t deserve him...._ Chris thought to himself, his whole body seemed to slump and he prepared to turn to go upstairs.

Chris sighed though and looked up.

***

Zach’s ears perked when he heard the unmistakable sound of his partner sighing in a less than happy manner. “Hey, buddy, what’s—” he stopped when he actually saw Chris. The man had dark circles around his usually bright eyes and he was frighteningly pale. His white t-shirt was also sticking to him and it looked dirty.

Chris peered at Zach for only a second before his eyes darted away and he moved towards the stairs. Zach moved faster. He caught Chris’ wrist and there was a brief struggle as he tried to free himself. “Let me go, man!” his voice would have been a deep growl if it hadn’t cracked at the end.

Zach held tight until Chris relaxed at least a tiny bit before leading him to the couch. Chris tugged only slightly against him and flopped down to sit when Zach made him. He sighed heavily and he kept avoiding Zach’s gaze. There was a tightness in Zach’s chest as he sat beside him. Chris breathed out through his nose and he trembled a little. He looked so small and weak.

Zach moved closer, his knees bumping into Chris’ so he could take a better look at him. Chris continued to keep his head down. His sandy eyelashes perfectly fanned over his eyes making it impossible for Zach to see them but he didn’t have to look to know the sad blue that would be cloudy with Chris’ dark thoughts. Zach reached out and ran his thumb under each of Chris’ eyes to wipe away the forming tears. “Chris...” Zach said, a little desperation crept in which made his voice sound less than soothing.

Chris hiccoughed in response and closed his eyes tight. He tilted his head away slowly; no bite to match his bark, and Zach’s fingers left his face. However Zach wouldn’t allow for Chris to convince himself that he was alone in this. He moved closer, wrapping his legs around Chris’ hips so he couldn’t run away-- not that Chris would have the strength for it.

“You’re so gorgeous....,” Zach willed away that sad note out of his voice and purred close to Chris, warm breath brushing over his scarred face. He kissed Chris’ closed eyes, soothing him. Moving his mouth he kissed Chris’ laugh lines which were crinkled in frustration and he gently placed his lips over them until they disappeared.

Another hiccough escaped from Chris and when he tried to speak all that escaped was a ragged exhale followed by a sob.

Zach broke inside and found that he couldn’t hold back. He took Chris into his arms more hastily and carelessly than he should have but he needed to hold him. His glasses bit into his face and he could feel them pressing awkwardly into the bridge of his nose. Yet he continued to press kisses numerous times right under Chris’ jaw line.

Chris let out a tiny whimper at the sudden onslaught of physical love and tried to press his head against Zach’s to push him away. When this proved useless, he began to move his arms. His hands frantically pushed at whatever part of Zach he could reach.

Zach held tight.

A sob broke through Chris again and Zach could feel the soft tears start to fall against his back as Chris lost the fight in him. “Chris, hon...” Zach pulled away but when Chris tried to take that as an opportunity to escape he pressed his mouth against his. A choked weeping noise came from Chris but after a tense moment he relaxed a little.

The kiss was wet from Chris’ tears. Zach moved a hand up in between Chris’ shoulders and, with the other, rubbed his knuckles into the small of Chris’ back.

Chris’ mouth opened more out of being too tired to close it than actually meaning to deepen the kiss but Zach took the opportunity to ghost his tongue over the inside of his mouth for only a moment. He then kissed the curves of Chris’ lips and the scars on his chin and cheeks. “Chris...” Zach said, continuing to press kisses. “You’re so perfect and you don’t even know it.”

A disbelieving sound came from Chris and he squirmed a little as Zach moved his hand from his back to the curve of his ass.

Zach kissed his ears and whispered. “I love your little round ears... And when you smile they perk up.” He kissed them again and gave the tiniest lick to the top of one of them. They glowed a beautiful pink colour. “I love your eyebrows,” Zach ran his tongue along them and kissed in between them. He pressed his hands underneath Chris’ shirt for a moment before taking them away and removing his own shirt as well as his glasses. He then proceeded to whisk away Chris’ shirt.

There was a flush on Chris’ chest starting to form and he heaved with his breathing but he still looked incredibly weak.

When it became more difficult for Zach to talk as his own breathing became more haphazard, he touched the spots that he loved the most. He ran his hand down Chris’ shoulders. He loved how tiny they were and yet so round and strong. When Chris walked he would always push his shoulders back and puff his chest out, it was sort of adorable.

He bit into them and Chris shivered. He held his teeth against the skin for a good long time as his hands moved to map Chris’ chest. His fingers twisted in the light dusting of chest hair and circled his nipples until they were hard and the hairs swirled around them. Zach kissed Chris shoulder and the pink teeth marks blended in with Chris’ flushed body. Zach moved and looked into Chris’ eyes.

They were clouded and slightly closed but they didn’t look quite so sad. “Hey, buddy...” Zach said and made his head tilt so that he looked up at Chris. “Focus on me, okay.”

Chris hesitated before giving the slightest of nods.

Zach kissed Chris’ nose and Chris reacted by nipping back at Zach’s. Zach’s heart jumped in his chest at Chris finally showing some sign of life. Chris gave another nip at it, teeth gently scrapping against the skin until he gave a tiny kiss and then pulled himself back. Zach allowed a tiny smile to show on his face before he ran his hand down Chris’ belly and then to the bulge of his pants, cupping his hand underneath it. Chris was already a little stiff.

A surprised noise came from Chris and his whole body tensed.

Afraid Chris may jump, Zach slowly moved his hand over the bulge up to the zipper of his jeans and pulled Chris out of his briefs. Chris closed his eyes a little and his mouth opened slightly. “I love your dick...,” Zach said in a low voice and he kept his eyes glued on Chris’, hoping his predatory gaze might make Chris heat up. The moan that escaped Chris’ lips along with the shiver that followed obviously meant it did. Zach stroked Chris gently until Chris tried to push his hips up and speed up the process.

The slow movement teased him, keeping his hand away from the head of Chris’ cock Zach moved it back to the base and tucked into Chris’ warmth. Chris began to tremble as Zach left his neglected cock alone. “Z-Zachary..,” he stuttered. He clenched his jaw trying to stop himself shaking with need. “ _Zach_.”

A feeling of absolute joy washed over Zach at Chris saying his name and he couldn’t help but smile, which he tried to hide by biting his bottom lip. Finally Zach’s hand reached up and he brushed his thumb over the slit of Chris’ cock. An appreciative noise escaped from Chris and, once his breathing calmed a little, he said lightly, “You teasing bastard.”

There was a tiny smile playing on Chris’ lips just at one of the corners but Zach knew it wouldn’t take much for it to point downwards. Zach smiled back playfully before pushing a hand through his hair. “You love it,” he said in a cooing voice.

Chris reached out and touched Zach’s chest. He pushed his hands through the thick hair on his chest and to those tiny nipples. Zach arched his back to allow for better access as Chris traced his finger down to his belly where he rubbed his palm against it and then moved both of his hand up to splay on his chest.

Zach wanted so badly to fall into his touch and let Chris take control. He was feeling just as tired and weak as Chris after a week of hostility. Zach let out a soft sigh when Chris moved to sit up a little more and kiss his throat. It took all the effort he had to move away from Chris, if only for a split second, to grab a condom and lube from the just-in-case drawer beside the couch. He kissed Chris’ ear for a moment and nuzzled his nose into Chris’ hair, overcome with happiness for Chris finally showing signs of life.

He managed to get Chris’ black jeans off without too much difficulty and he looked at Chris’ erection for a moment. Zach got down onto his knees on the floor, mouthing against Chris’ body as he moved down and kissed the head of his dick. “Jesus! Zach!” Chris cried out as Zach ran his tongue down his length. Zach ran a finger up and down it lazily until Chris began to breathe raggedly and his hips bucked instinctively. Zach stood up and brought his pants off in a quick fluid motion and then removed his briefs just as quickly. He saw Chris looking at his dick and the furry blackness surrounding it.

Zach couldn’t help the tiny quirk of his lips before he lowered himself over Chris. They locked eyes and Zach looked away only for a moment to squirt some lube onto his fingers. He rubbed them together and kissed Chris sweetly. Pulling away he watched Chris’ face as he pressed his index finger against Chris ass.

The sweetest gasp came from Chris and his hole tightened at the touch. Zach pressed his finger against him again and slipped inside making Chris close his eyes and his chest heaved up as his back arched. “Oh...,” Chris shivered and after a few moments he pushed himself further onto Zach’s finger. Zach knew that Chris was a total sucker for having his ass played with and he stuck his middle finger alongside his other one and Chris squirmed trying to get more friction. Chris was totally erect and Zach couldn’t tear his eyes away from it.

After a few more moments of scissoring Chris, Zach slipped a condom onto himself and moved to push himself inside Chris. A harsh breath came from both of them as Zach sunk into him. “ _Fuck_ ,” he swore as he willed himself not to move once he was completely inside. He pulled Chris into his arms to hold him and Chris groaned as he sat on Zach’s dick, his ass filled with him.

Generally Zach preferred to bottom but he knew that Chris needed this right now; this feeling of being whole, of being wrapped in a loving embrace and just losing himself in someone else.

Zach thrust into him and Chris whined, his nails dug into Zach’s skin and his teeth were biting at his shoulder. His mouth hung open though after a good while, sucking in breath as he clenched his ass tightly around Zach’s cock, “Dammit, Chris...” Zach said as his cock throbbed and he moved furiously. His breath came out in sharp, quick gulps and it was hot against the back of Chris’ neck. He moaned when Chris clenched again. He tried to muffle the noises in Chris’ hair but it still managed to escape.

Chris rolled his hips and his head tipped back exposing his neck, glistening with sweat. Zach stuck his tongue out to lick his collar bone but ended up just breathing hotly on to him. “Zach,” Chris choked out desperately and it was obvious he was close. His grip was tighter and his hips were losing their rhythm. He grunted as Zach found his sweet spot and continued to hit it with each push of his hips.

Chris looked Zach in the eyes for a moment. His pupils were blown wide and his eyelids were half closed but Zach was just glad he didn’t see a trace of sadness in them. Chris moved to bite at Zach’s ear and pressed his nose into Zach’s now messed up hair. His horribly disjointed breathing was causing Zach to begin to lose it and he felt his climax coming fast. He gripped Chris’ ass with his hands and Chris gave a pleased noise into Zach’s hair. Zach moved his hands to Chris hips as he continued to thrust furiously upwards into him, his mouth was hanging open and his eyes a little watery.

With a few more desperate motions of his hips, Chris came with a loud moan. He spilled onto their stomachs and it didn’t take long for Zach to reach his limit after that. He had completely lost his rhythm and when he came his whole body tensed and he held onto Chris tightly.

Both of them panted, trying to catch their breaths. Zach moved to pull himself out of Chris and once he was done taking the condom off he settled back into the couch. Chris clung to him and pressed his face into the crook of Zach’s sweaty neck. Zach petted his short, soft brown hair. “I love your hair,” Zach kissed it a few times before pressing his nose into it. He smelled Chris’ sweat and also that undeniable Chris scent. He always had that smell of bitterness—o f coffee and cigarettes and the city. “...I love you, Chris.”

Chris gave a tiny hum and then moved his face so that he could speak without Zach’s neck in the way. “Love you, too.” His voice didn’t sound sad, maybe a little heavy but it was a big step. He pushed the bridge of his nose against Zach’s shoulder before cuddling into him again.

He moved and kissed Chris’ forehead, “I love your massive forehead.” He laughed and a tiny chuckle escaped from Chris. 


End file.
